Email Templates for Dealing with Single Opt-In Intros

Verdell Walker
2 min readJul 19, 2021
Photo by Christina Morillo from Pexels

In my recent essay, The Tyranny of the Single Opt-In Intro, I laid out my case for why single opt-in introductions are so harmful. TL;DR — they rob people of their agency and ability to decide for themselves how to use their time and energy. I’ve received many inquiries about the exact templates I use to deal with single opt-in intros, so I’ve decided to share them.

There are two main message templates I use:

Postponing a Connection. I use this template when I wouldn’t mind talking to someone, just at a more convenient time. It also clearly reinforces that next time, the connector should ask me first before making an intro.


It’d be great to get a heads up before being connected to anyone. My bandwidth is limited now because of XXX. I want to make sure I can get back to everyone in a respectful time frame. I can speak with XXX, but I’d really appreciate it if it could wait a couple of weeks.

Refusing a Connection. Sometimes I genuinely don’t wish to connect. That’s when I use this template.


Going forward, I’d really appreciate it if you would check with me first before connecting me to anyone. Double opt-in intros are always best. My bandwidth is limited now, so unfortunately I will need to pass. Please let XXX know.

There are times when I’ll tweak and adjust these messages for the specific situation, but having these templates at the ready is a useful starting point that significantly minimizes the energy I have to expend in these situations. And that’s what this is all about — protecting valuable energy.

As I mentioned in my essay, I’m a big believer in making the connector do the hard, awkward work of unwinding the introduction. They essentially have to go back and admit they messed up, and might even lose a bit of social capital. If they have any self awareness, it will hopefully make them think twice before doing it again.

When you respond to single opt-in intros, let these templates do most, if not all, of the work for you.

Protect your energy. Protect your boundaries. Protect your peace.

Verdell Walker

Christ follower. Writer. Storyteller. Brand builder. Web: